Pregnancy questions

I've always heard that pregnant women get asked personal questions, but I'm just now getting to hear some first hand. I'm not offended, even if I sometimes have a snarky answer. (I'm just snarky by nature.)  I'm happy to be pregnant, and I'd rather be fielding these questions than "so do you think you'll ever have kids?" (Come to think of it, people are just nosy, regardless of whether you're pregnant.)

Yesterday after I gave sexual harassment training to some manufacturing workers, I closed with the usual, "does anyone have any questions?" Ah, good, we have a question! After watching people sleep through my presentation, I was thrilled! Yes, what's your question?! "How many months along are you?" I suppose that was my fault for being ambiguous. In the future, I will close with "does anyone have any questions about sexual harassment." I thought it was implied, but apparently not.

The twin situation brings up some unique questions. The Vietnamese nail salon owner who gave me a pedicure a couple of weeks ago asked: "what if they look the same and they try to confuse you about who is who?" Huh. I was tempted to joke, "what, because you think all white kids look the same?" but decided that things are sometimes funnier in my head than they are when I say them out loud. 

I've been asked if I was hoping for twins. I gather the true question is, "did you have two fertilized eggs implanted in your uterus via in vitro fertilization, resulting in a higher likelihood of twins?" To which my response is, "No, but enough about me. I'm interested in how you conceived your child!"

The people who have been the most fascinated about my pregnancy so far have been the other preggo ladies at my prenatal aquatics class. They ask the questions that make me most anxious like, "how premature are twins usually?" and "what's the average birth weight of twins?"  Cuts to the core of my concerns over my munchkins' health.

I should probably just make stuff up. My husband taught me that if you preface anything with the phrase "Harvard studies show," people blindly accept your assertions. For example, Harvard studies show that twins born to women in their 30s score on average 10 IQ points higher than singletons born to women in their 20s who ask too many questions in prenatal aquatics classes. I don't know if this trick works with other Ivy League schools. You're welcome to try. (Just not Cornell. People will dispute Cornell studies. At least I would.)

I'm sure there will be many more questions and eventually some belly-petting as well. It's all pretty amusing, and I'm trying to take it in stride and just enjoy this pregnancy, since it will likely be my one and only.