Baby Shower!!

Five lovely ladies threw us a couple's baby shower on April 15, and it was SO great! Unfortunately I don't do much with a camera, so I'm relying on Liz's pictures for this post because I don't know where the USB cord is to hook up my camera (that I only took 4-5 pictures with anyway). Add "learn how to use camera and video-camera" to my list of things to do before the babies arrive.

[As an FYI-- we didn't invite out of towners because we didn't want friends to feel pressure to send a gift.]

First, a picture of the hostesses et moi:

From left to right, there is Liz, Julie, Katie (in front) and Ann (behind her), Carly, and me, with lil Miss Thang Kaelyn up front.

Carly I've known since freshman year of high school (when she couldn't have been more than 12... I've never known her age because she skipped a bunch of grades or something). We enjoyed quoting Ace Ventura movies ad nauseum for the annoyance  amusement of our classmates. I've been so glad we both ended up in Dallas.

Katie I've known since I moved into my dorm freshman year of college. She still enjoys telling how I showed up to college in shortalls. I had spent 14 years at an all girls school, y'all, don't judge. Katie's daughter, Kaelyn, calls me Auntie Allyn, and being around her always reminds me why I want kids.

Ann I've known since first semester freshman year of college. She has remained a bestie, despite the fact that she's a horrible influence... in junior year, she decided I should dye my hair platinum blond, and that she should be the one to do it for me. That turned out tragically. Regardless, I trust her with my life. Not with my hair, but with my life.

Julie has been a friend (and neighbor!) for about 3.5 years since we met at a dinner of strangers, some of whom would become our dearest friends. Julie has 9 month old Max and so has already figured out this mommy thing, so I will bother her endlessly over the next several months. Luckily she's one of the nicest people I've ever met, so she will endure me kindly.

Liz is another of the dearest friends that we met at that dinner a few years ago. In those years, Liz has patiently listened to me bitch, vent, cry, (and even express happiness occasionally!), on a more frequent basis than she would have signed up for if she had known in advance. But she has remained supportive, even when I was pretty annoying.

I love these girls so much and was so honored that they'd host this for us. These are the women in whom I confided when I desperately wanted to get pregnant, and it's so cool to have them throwing the celebration for our babies. Next up: testing their patience by calling them in the middle of the night when I'm not sure how to turn off the babies.

Okay, more pictures. 

How cute is this set-up? With "little lowells" on pink and blue napkins? It's just the right amount of cute.

Side view of the belly. Holy moly, that's a lot of baby. That's a non-alcoholic sparkling pear beverage in my wine glass, for the record, so don't get all Judgy McJudgerson on me.

Zach with Rob and James (aka Guapo) and Katie on the left and Liz on the right.

With the grandmothers-to-be. On the left is my mom (or JJ, as she will be known), and on the right is my mother-in-law Vicki, who is already Mimi to her grandchildren Madison and Seth (who are excited to meet their cousins... We're excited too -- in a few years Madison will be old enough to babysit!)

And.... we're opening gifts. That look on my face, if you're wondering, is the "what the hell is this thing for, oh dear Lord, I don't even know what this is, how am I going to keep these children alive" look. That's right; something as simple as a plastic jar in which one mixes formula (ohhh!!! that's what it's for!!) can send me into what-have-I-gotten-myself-into-I'm-so-overwhelmed mode. Luckily I have a poker face, so you can't tell that I'm confused or overwhelmed at all. Right?

Zach's turn to be confused. I registered for the changing pad thingy, so I know what it is, but I'm pretty sure Zach's first thought was: "why do the babies need a sled?"

Katie made blankets for the babies. How sweet is that? Apparently Kaelyn had to fend for herself a few nights while Katie was at the sewing machine making these. Sorry Kaelyn. You're lucky to get away with PB&J for dinner occasionally though. At my house, there's a revolt if I try to present a meatless dinner. That's what happens when you marry a midwestern boy. 

So, there you have it. Our Dallas baby shower. We felt so loved, and I only cried 3 times later that night thinking about it. Seriously, I did. I was pretty overwhelmed with gratitude to have these people we love care so much about us and our kids. I'm also really hormonal, but mainly I'm just grateful.

Third trimester

On Friday, I'll be 29 weeks! Third trimester starts at 28 weeks, so I've started countdown mode. I'm not sick of being pregnant yet. Probably because I'm so terrified at the idea of two newborns that I'm willing to stay pregnant until I figure out my game plan. (Because I hear life with newborns is totally something you can plan for, like retirement... All I need is a strategy.)

So as of last week, here was me:

I didn't realize that the shirt I'm wearing in that picture had the white streaks like it's being blown up until after the first time I wore it. I guess that's a sign that I've given up on fashion (because I was such a fashionista previously). How hilarious of the shirt-maker, by the way, to design the shirt to have its own stretch marks that grow, the larger the pregnant woman gets.

At this point it feels like I've always been pregnant and will always be pregnant, and sometimes I forget that there are babies in there and that I'm not just fat. (But in a weird way where I'm ok with being fat.) I see myself in a mirror and accept, "and this is how I look now." Like it's an immutable characteristic, like having only one arm. There's no use fretting about it, so just move on and learn how to live with one arm. Except instead of losing an arm I've gained an enormous gut, that I have accepted. This is how it is now.

ANYway, there are both pros and cons about this stage of pregnancy.  For example, social or family events. On one hand, I'm a cheap date (water instead of wine) and a sober driver.  On the other hand, the word "vaginal" now comes up in dinner conversations with alarming frequency.  At Easter dinner, it was amusing watching Zach explain to his mother's friend why I'm having a scheduled caesarean instead of vaginal birth. He'll say "c-section" but then "you know, that way" to refer to vaginal. (His mother finally said what needed to be said: "you mean vaginal!") And then I realize we're all sitting around a lovely holiday dinner table talking about my nether regions, and I really wish I could at least have a glass of wine. (How many points do I get for writing the word "vaginal" four, wait no, FIVE times in this post?)

Coming up soon: baby shower this weekend and then 30 week appointment next week. Woo hoo!

26 weeks

As of tomorrow, I'm 26 weeks (6.5 months) along.  The twin thing makes me look further along though. A woman stopped me on the street yesterday to ask when I was due. I was surprised, mainly because I wouldn't initiate conversation with a stranger unless she was unaware she was about to be hit by a bus. I told Zach, and he was surprised too. Actually, his response was, "why does she want to know, is she going to clear her calendar for the day? None of her business." You can see how we get along so well. (Truth be told, I was friendly to the lady. She was nice, and while it puzzles me that strangers care about my pregnancy, I'm fine with it, so long as it doesn't seem like they're trying to steal my babies and sell them on the black market. I'm not going through this all of this for someone else to make a profit.  I'm not even making a profit. Also, I want my babies.)

So here's me last night when I got home from my walk:

At doctors' appointments this morning everything went well. (Except my OB mentioned that he "keeps forgetting there are two babies." Doc, as a heads up, that is not the kind of comment that instills confidence in you.)

I took the glucose screen, which wasn't bad. I went early to get that over with and then met Zach at the perinatologist's. I bragged about how I beat the other pregnant girls by drinking the sugar drink the fastest.
Z: Wait, you just had a drinking contest?
A: Yeah, and I won.
Z: Did anyone else know it was a contest?
A: The point is, I won.
I'm totally mature enough to raise children.

Babies are on track for growth. Right now A (boy) is about 1 lb 13 oz and B (girl) is 1 lb 14 oz, so little girl is pulling ahead on weight. Little boy has some hair, so we might have a mini-Zach. They spent the whole time wiggling and kicking each other. I'm sure they can feel each other's movements better than I can, so they're probably more "aware" of each other than they are of me.

Weight:  Gained 25 lbs. Holy crap! It's ok though, because that's mainly babies. Oh wait, the babies are less than 4 lbs total. I guess there's a lot of extra.... blood and fluid? Ewww.

Cravings:  Fruit, chocolate (even though I've never been a chocolate fan), sweets generally. I don't know if this is a hormone thing or just a determination to consume something bad for me even if it can't contain alcohol or caffeine.

Sleep:  Sleeping like a champ still.

Mood: Generally very happy. I have my hormonal moments though. This morning I started crying in the car thinking about this nature show I saw where a baby elephant had hurt his leg and couldn't keep up with the family, so his mom stayed behind with him, and they were trying to find a new family. I'm starting to get weepy again thinking about it, so let's move on.

Dreams:  Some stress dreams. The other night I dreamed I was in depositions all night long. They were realistic, with the same people I had actually had depositions with a few days before. Talk about an unimaginative subconscious. It's like it's not even trying.

Movement:  They move A LOT. Sometimes I see my belly move. Pretty frequently both babies are on my right side. It makes my belly lopsided, which totally weirds me out. For a while it seemed like I felt them mostly at night or first thing in the morning, but now it seems like it's sporadically throughout the day and night. So I guess they don't sleep much. Awesome. (I'm always glad to feel them though... if they're pummeling each other, I'm reassured that they're ok, even if they're being jerks.)

Husband:  He's doing a great job of being supportive and helpful.  Let's see how he reacts when I tell him I want him to accompany me to the breastfeeding class. (Honestly I don't even want to go to the breastfeeding class, but the whole thing is mystifying and terrifying to me, so a class can't hurt.)

Dog:  I don't know if he's trying to make me feel guilty about the upcoming changes in his life by being so cute and cuddly, but I do.  He loves our life the way it is. His favorite part of the day is 10pm when I scoop him up from the couch, take him to Zach for his goodnight kiss, and tuck him into his bed next to our bed.  I think this ritual will go out the window for a while after the twins' arrival. 

Things are getting a little more difficult, which is sometimes frustrating. There are more inconveniences. For example, every other morning drying myself post-shower, I inadvertently rip off the same scab on my knee because I can't see my legs very well.  The scab is from this weekend when I took a long walk. Know what freaks out the neighbors? Seeing a pregnant woman fall. I landed on my knees and hands, doing no harm to the babies but massive harm to my ego (and my knee and hand).

This has been a long post. Oops. The main point was this: the babies look healthy, and that makes me so so happy.

6 month update

Friday will mark 24 weeks of pregnancy, i.e. SIX MONTHS! That feels like an accomplishment for some reason. The second trimester is flying by.

I've never been so sane in my life. Seriously. I'm going to miss the pregnancy hormones that make me  rational human being. Example: This morning as I was getting onto the elevator at work, a woman saw me and said, "well aren't you just so cute?!" Normally I'd backhand someone who spoke to me in a tone that should be reserved for speaking to small children dressed in ridiculous outfits. But instead I smiled and said thank you, and I meant it. Genuinely. I didn't assume this woman was condescending and deserving of a punch to the throat. I don't even know who I am anymore.

Anyway, here's how I look now:

(Stop judging my 1970s era, messy master bathroom.)

Babies are moving around more in a way that I can feel them. It's pretty awesome because I remember that they're in there. (Otherwise I forget I'm pregnant and just feel like I've had a big lunch.) Zach had his ear against my belly the other evening (because he's sure they're conspiring against us, and he wanted to eavesdrop... totally normal) and one of them punched him. Not hard (they're less than 1.5 lbs each, after all), but enough that his suspicions were confirmed.

Oh, speaking of kids with attitudes, some movies NOT to watch while expecting: Rosemary's Baby, The Omen, and We Need to Talk About Kevin.  SPOILER ALERT re: We Need to Talk About Kevin: Kevin is a d*ck. Like a shoot-up-his-school  kind of a-hole. And it all started when he was an a-hole baby who wouldn't stop screaming. I sat in the theater terrified, rubbing my belly, silently willing my unborn children not to be a-holes. (I'm sorry for not typing the whole word, but this is a family blog, ok? You can say "a-hole" to kids, right? No? Damn. Darn.)

I totally got off-topic there, and I'm not sure what I even intended to post about when I started this, so I REALLY don't know how to end this post, so... THE END.

Dear babies

Dear Babies,

Congratulations, you've turned me into a cliche.  After seeing you two on ultrasound yesterday, I found myself writing an email in which I raved about the fact that one of you had hiccups and one of you opened and closed your mouth.  Yeah. I bragged about your involuntary movements. And I won't lie... I considered the possibility that these movements indicate that you are geniuses. The bar is set very low for you to impress me.  You're welcome.

[Your father, on the other hand, is already wondering when you're going to get jobs. He's been teaching the dog tricks to get on a Subway commercial for 2 years now, so don't think you're not going to be put to work pretty quickly.]

Baby girl, here's you opening your mouth and moving your hand towards your face. You.Are.Brilliant.

Baby boy, here's your long arm swatting your sister's face. You're not afraid to take what you want, and I admire that. But stop being a punk to your sister.

Another anomaly caused by your cuteness: I was walking down the smoggy streets of downtown Dallas yesterday, when I realized I was... wait for it... smiling. At no one in particular. I do not walk and smile.  Looking approachable invites people to actually approach you, and -- worse yet -- speak to you. I do not talk to strangers. Neither should you, babies, but for different reasons. But I couldn't help myself from smiling yesterday. You two have done me in with your cuteness.

Updates from the appointment:

• Baby boy is 1 lb 2 oz, and baby girl is 1 lb 1 oz. Baby girl's lengths are average, and baby boy's arms and legs are long. Both of your parents have chicken legs, and your uncle has monkey arms, so I'm not surprised that you might be a little lanky.
• Your circulatory and renal systems are working well. We could see that baby boy's bladder was full, which is good for some reason. It made me wonder where it empties into, and since you're both inside of me... yuck. I don't want to know. 
• You guys are super active, even though I only feel a fraction of what you do. I should mention that the very first time I felt either of you move was during the Missouri-Kansas game on a Saturday night at approximately 20 weeks of pregnancy. It was a close game, with only 2 minutes left, and your dad was cursing emphatically pleading the Tigers to pull their heads out of their asses get it together, which I think had my blood pressure up, and one of you moved in a way that I felt. The Tigers then won the game, and your dad, by some superstitious invention, believes that you guys helped them win the game.
• We looked further into the scheduled c-section versus vaginal delivery issue. Because there are two of you, c-section looks like the way to go. Or rather, I wasn't enticed by the doctor's phrasing of "unless you're passionate about a long, painful, vaginal twin delivery with possible complications." You had me at long and painful, doc. 

I'll take a picture of my silhouette before the belly's too exploded. We're on the verge of belly-button-popping-out, which is pretty sick, but I don't even care because I'm baking two genius babies.  

Pregnancy questions

I've always heard that pregnant women get asked personal questions, but I'm just now getting to hear some first hand. I'm not offended, even if I sometimes have a snarky answer. (I'm just snarky by nature.)  I'm happy to be pregnant, and I'd rather be fielding these questions than "so do you think you'll ever have kids?" (Come to think of it, people are just nosy, regardless of whether you're pregnant.)

Yesterday after I gave sexual harassment training to some manufacturing workers, I closed with the usual, "does anyone have any questions?" Ah, good, we have a question! After watching people sleep through my presentation, I was thrilled! Yes, what's your question?! "How many months along are you?" I suppose that was my fault for being ambiguous. In the future, I will close with "does anyone have any questions about sexual harassment." I thought it was implied, but apparently not.

The twin situation brings up some unique questions. The Vietnamese nail salon owner who gave me a pedicure a couple of weeks ago asked: "what if they look the same and they try to confuse you about who is who?" Huh. I was tempted to joke, "what, because you think all white kids look the same?" but decided that things are sometimes funnier in my head than they are when I say them out loud. 

I've been asked if I was hoping for twins. I gather the true question is, "did you have two fertilized eggs implanted in your uterus via in vitro fertilization, resulting in a higher likelihood of twins?" To which my response is, "No, but enough about me. I'm interested in how you conceived your child!"

The people who have been the most fascinated about my pregnancy so far have been the other preggo ladies at my prenatal aquatics class. They ask the questions that make me most anxious like, "how premature are twins usually?" and "what's the average birth weight of twins?"  Cuts to the core of my concerns over my munchkins' health.

I should probably just make stuff up. My husband taught me that if you preface anything with the phrase "Harvard studies show," people blindly accept your assertions. For example, Harvard studies show that twins born to women in their 30s score on average 10 IQ points higher than singletons born to women in their 20s who ask too many questions in prenatal aquatics classes. I don't know if this trick works with other Ivy League schools. You're welcome to try. (Just not Cornell. People will dispute Cornell studies. At least I would.)

I'm sure there will be many more questions and eventually some belly-petting as well. It's all pretty amusing, and I'm trying to take it in stride and just enjoy this pregnancy, since it will likely be my one and only.

Baby Boy and Baby Girl!

It's (going to be after fully cooked) a BOY and a GIRL!

They're both healthy and doing well!

Baby Boy A keeps his hands around his... well, you know. We'll have to have a talk about that at some point.  I know he's proud, but come on, dude.  He flips around and moves his legs a lot (all of that while holding onto his junk.) He's gonna be a soccer player, yes he is... he iiiisss! (Billy Madison reference)

Baby Girl B waves her arms in the air like she just don't care, and she also flips around a lot. When the ultrasound tech pushed down to try to get her to move and show her goods, she flipped around to hide her bum and shook her fist at us.  Fiercely protecting her modesty. Good girl.

(I'm totally projecting and making up personalities for them, but that's what people do, right?)

Obviously we're really excited. People say, "one of each, so you'll be done, right?" And yes, that's right, but we would have been really excited and "done" regardless.  Two kiddos is perfecto for our family, regardless of genders.

So I get to start the nursery planning (I'll start posting about that soon)! And registering! Actually I started registering yesterday - post on that (and the intense experience that was the breast pump aisle!) later.